I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
