Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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