Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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