One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
