Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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