the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
