you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
