i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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