Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
