i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
