that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize