he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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