tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
