We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
