I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This is classic penis vs brain.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
