You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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