Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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