New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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