but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
