I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
