Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
