Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
