I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
