No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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