NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
