He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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