CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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