I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
