she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
