i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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