Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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