sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
