He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
