is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
