If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
