I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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