Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
