even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
