are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
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I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
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Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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