shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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