that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
no you cant smoke seaweed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
