Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
