I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
