I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
