i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
