Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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