I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
