Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
