i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
