You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
