he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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