tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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