He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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