Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
