I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
