I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
