No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
