i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You're like the curious george of whores
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
