If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
