He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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