btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
