"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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