Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
