Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize