He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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