she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
